A part of me weeps inside when I hear an adult say to a child “you are so GOOD at colouring in between the lines”.
It is all MEANT to be praise of course. It is MEANT to boost their self-esteem. It is MEANT to help them aspire to ACHIEVE. It is MEANT to be a sign of PROGRESS from the toddler years of scribbling all over the page
But in reality it teaches them to CONFORM.
To follow the rules, always, to the detriment of their self-expression. To IGNORE THE URGE to try something new or perhaps worse to SWITCH OFF that part of the brain that is OPEN to NEW IDEAS. They learn that being good at something means doing THINGS a certain way that are EXPECTED of them or not to question things as they are or to ask themselves if it feels right for them.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying colouring-in books are evil! I love a bit of colouring in and the beauty of organisation and precision. But I also value FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION. It must be the individual’s choice in the moment wherever possible. Otherwise they can grow up feeling repressed, constrained and concerned by trying to please others.
Obviously some rules in life are necessary in society because no harm should ever be caused to another living creature or property in the name of SELF-EXPRESSION.
But this is not a post about building a child’s self-esteem, teaching or parenting.
This is a post to encourage YOU to think about how YOU tell yourself to ‘colour in between the lines’.
In what areas of your life are you not fully expressing your true self; your ideas, your opinion, your emotions, your desires?
Where are you following the rules against to the detriment of YOUR TRUTH?
Where could you CHOOSE to do things differently?
That is such a powerful way to view your perceived limitations:
They are a choice.
I used to feel such RESENTMENT towards this statement and therefore I RESISTED the notion. Why would I ever CHOOSE NOT to express myself and be, do or have whatever I want? Why would I or anyone ever limit themselves out of CHOICE?
The point is, the choice is; YOU CAN CHOOSE TO BECOME UNLIMITED.
Whatever is stopping you from HAVING IT ALL (just so we are clear I am referring to your PAST EMOTIONAL TRAUMAS and childhood conditioning), will CONTINUE to LIMIT YOU UNTIL YOU RELEASE THEM.
This is not an ‘I will carry on PUSHING FORWARD and WORK HARD and DAMN IT WILL I LET ANYTHING STOP ME’ attitude (even though this IS what it takes for success). The distinction is that you will be FIGHTING AN UPHILL BATTLE that will leave you feeling EMPTY, UNFULFILLED AND SUFFOCATING in your own lack of expression and NOT in a state of FLOW, PASSION and PURPOSE.
Releasing EMOTIONS and past emotional trauma requires the necessity to ALLOW your overwhelming emotions to be heard and above all FELT in the PRESENT and EXPRESSED FULLY. It requires us to be VULNERABLE with ourselves and others.
Notice I refer to our ‘overwhelming’ emotions instead of ‘negative’ to describe the intense feelings we would rather hide because THEY ARE JUST EMOTIONS! It is the resulting behaviours that can be perceived as positive or negative.
We say it is OK to be angry or it is OK to feel resentful, rage, scared, anxious, sad or grief-stricken but do we really MEAN it?
Do we really allow ourselves to FEEL these emotions WITHOUT judgement?
NO WE DON’T!
Because we are concerned that we don’t know how to handle them when they feel SO strong and so we stuff them down and not actually acknowledge and release them but because the intensity has passed we wrongly assume we have ‘dealt’ with them.
So here’s what I want you know:
YOUR LIMITATIONS IN LIFE, whether around your relationship with money, success, a partner, friends and family, food, exercise, work, business or your purpose etc, CAN BE REMOVED BY HEALING YOUR PAST EMOTIONAL TRAUMA.
You can decide RIGHT NOW to embrace ALL YOU ARE and be FREE.
Free to feel.
Free to BE YOU.
Free to accept yourself.
Free to express yourself.
Free to love yourself.
Free to love others.
Free to be loved.
Free to dream.
Free to create.
Free to receive.
Free to HAVE IT ALL!
It is possible if you don’t colour between the lines.
P.S. If you are want to BREAK FREE of your limitations then join The Dark Side Revolution (Private FB Group) – a safe and supportive space for WOMEN to express and release their overwhelming emotions and liming beliefs and come to wholeness. My free HAVE IT ALL CHALLENGE is starting in the group soon.
I look forward to welcoming you on the other (dark) side). x