The scientist in me is up for an experiment. The wisdom in me knows it is the truth.
Is it possible to do what you love and live life on your terms? Is it simply a case of giving yourself the permission and claiming all you truly desire as yours (then doing the work to get you there)?
The scientist in me says, “Well see”. The wisdom in me says “Of course”.
Who do I listen to?
For a long time I have IGNORED my wisdom because I thought ‘having it all’ was greedy or unspiritual or not for the likes of me. I would think,”Of course everyone wants to be doing what they love and be wealthy beyond their wildest dreams!”, therefore those desires can’t be valid even though my ideal life is NOT the same as the next person’s.
In short I felt BAD ABOUT MYSELF for even daring to WANT MORE and therefore DENIED myself to even DREAM of my deepest desires for my own life and the world at large.
Feeling bad about myself; not good enough and undeserving is my default despite the fact I had loving and supportive parents who truly believed I could do anything I put my mind to. They certainly believed that I DESERVED to have the best and live a SUCCESSFUL and JOYOUS life DOING WHAT I LOVE.
I see that life for my own children. I want them to follow their passions and dreams, to know they are worthy enough to achieve success at them and to know that life is for enjoying. All of it.
I have always wanted that for my life too but the ‘reality’ I saw was that it wasn’t like that for the majority, and certainly not for me. I bought into the belief that only a few people make a ‘success’ of fulfilling their dreams. Success for the likes of me was working hard at school to get good grades to get a good job, perhaps doing something you liked maybe even enjoyed but not necessarily something YOU LOVED.
A sense of fulfilment has always been one of my highest values. It still is. I have just finally realised that I wasn’t going to get it unless I stopped denying myself of what lights me up and my dreams and instead focussed to getting clear on WHAT I TRULY WANT. I needed to give myself the permission to go for them.
So I am allowing myself to get crystal clear on what my heart desires to be, do, have, think and feel and take action from this place.
I am allowing myself to be inspired by and seek the support from teachers and mentors who ARE living their best lives doing what they love and are ‘successful’ at it.
I am allowing myself to spend more time figuring out WHO I need to be and NOT WHAT I need to do, to achieve my goals.
I am allowing myself to LISTEN TO MY HEART, to SPEAK MY TRUTH, to TAKE MORE RISKS and to TRUST.
I am allowing myself to acknowledge and feel my biggest fears and then DO IT ANYWAY.
I am allowing myself to not be distracted from my goals by opinion, be it my own or others.
I am allowing myself to create and follow my own rules.
I am allowing myself to commit and recommit to my goals and my big dreams DAILY.
Admittedly PerMISSION ME is not an easy path and there have been (and no doubt will be) many times when I wish I would just quit. But to deny my calling and my dreams any longer is to LIVE A LIE and since authenticity is another of my highest values, I have no alternative but to go for them.
So can I have it all?
I believe so and I will not stop experimenting.
P.S. If you would like to get past all that blocks you from going for enjoying your best life or your biggest dreams then join The Dark Side Revolution (FB group) – a safe and support space for women to express and release their overwhelming emotions. **A FREE 7 DAY EMOTIONAL DETOX STARTS TODAY!**. I look forward to welcoming you on the other (dark) side. x